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Kate Rants: Choice Is Good. But Be Sure You Can Support Your Choices

24 April 2020

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Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, from which I may earn money. As an Amazon Associate, I earn commissions from qualifying purchases. All opinions are my own, and I only promote products that I use and love!

You know how some weeks it seems like the same thing hits you over and over and over again? (And I’m not talking about how you get an explosion of IKEA ads on your Facebook feed right after talking to your sister, on the phone, about IKEA. That’s just creepy.)

This week, it’s been people upset that their military life is more expensive or more complicated because of choices that they have made. Whether it’s not being able to move on base because they have too many pets, or the costs of buying and selling a house, or the economic impact of the loss of a second job, folks are mad and they are blaming the military. It’s kind of hard to say, “Hey, no one forced you to own three Great Danes or buy a house or build your budget reliant on two incomes,” because then you sound like a jerk.

So I’ll take the conversation a few steps further so I don’t sound like such a jerk. Here’s my expanded theory: If you are going to make certain lifestyle choices, then you need to take other steps to make sure you can support those lifestyle choices.

Let’s take pets as an example.

I appreciate the value that pets bring to a family. We had two cats for eight military moves (well, two cats for six and one cat for two), and there was no question that we were going to take them with us. That included three very expensive and complicated OCONUS moves, with quarantines and months of boarding and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Because we had these cats, and we were not going to abandon them or leave them with others when we moved, we had to make other decisions and take other actions to support that choice.

First, we specifically did not get more pets. I can’t tell you how many times we uttered the phrase, “We’ll get a dog when the cats die because we more than two pets does not work for our life while Dad is still in the Navy.” Would we have loved to get a dog? Of course we would have. But it wan’t a smart decision for a family that could move who-knows-where, who-knows-when. And if the cats had not lived an extraordinarily long time, and we had gotten a dog, it would not have been a huge dog or a dog that made it harder than usual to find housing.

Second, we knew that moving the cats overseas would cost money, and we knew that any set of orders could send us overseas. So, we made sure that we could fund any overseas pet adventures. Usually, that meant some money out of our pet account and some money from dislocation allowance and some money wherever else we could scrape it together.

These same concepts, thinking ahead and saving for expenses, can be applied to almost any lifestyle choice that one could make. Things I’ve heard people gripe about recently include:

having a special car/more cars than you can reasonably move

cost of moving with pets, especially overseas, doubly especially if they are big

buying a house/selling a house/renting a house

maintaining two households because the family chooses to live separately

shipping a 2nd car overseas

I’m sure there are a thousand other things that could be on this list – inconveniences that we’ve all faced because of our various choices. And I’m not perfect – if we ever meet in person, I’ll tell you ALL about my “brilliant idea” to buy a house two full years before we moved back to the area. (Spoiler alert: it was NOT a brilliant idea.)

I’m all about people having choices, and living their best life. But every choice requires other choices to support it. And if you’ve chosen to serve, or you are married to a person who has chosen to serve, then you may need to pick different options than you would if you were not part of a military family. Because ultimately, the responsibility for those choices comes back to you and you alone.

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Kate

2 Comments
Filed Under: Personal Finance, Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Kristen says

    24 April 2020 at 12:05 pm

    Mostly agree with you. And when we make mistakes, we need to learn from them and not repeat them. But there’s also something to be said for having no idea just how crazy it can get. Like dealing with 3 homeport changes on top of the PCS moves on each end after the detailer assured you there wouldn’t be a homeport change… I mean, hypothetically… lol.

    Reply
    • Kate Horrell says

      24 April 2020 at 6:34 pm

      That might just push me over the edge LOL! We have never experienced a homeport change but I have watched them be very frustrating.

      Reply

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Welcome

Hi! I'm Kate! Personal financial educator, Navy spouse, and mom of four.

Here at the blog, I talk about the personal financial issues that affect military families - pay, allowances, and benefits. Plus college stuff, landlording, moving, taxes. You know, all of it.

I'm glad you are here!

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Kate does not represent the Department of Defense, the Department of Veterans Affairs, or any government agency. This blog is strictly for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content on this site should not be considered professional financial or legal advice. I may receive compensation through affiliate or advertising relationships from products mentioned on this site. All reviews on this site represent the personal opinions of the author. All references to third party products, rates, and offers may change without notice.

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